An Open Letter To Mantasticles

Dear Mantastic 2008,

I’m writing to thank you with all my heart for renewing the love in my marriage. Now that my Colonel is nearing full thatch, every time I walk into the room, Nancy shakes her head and rolls her eyes. And I know that it’s because she is so overcome with the feelings of being so fortunate of having me as her own.

When she begs me to get rid of it each morning, I am certain it is out of concern of the other men who will not stand a chance at love until I shave it off.

And on the occasions that I catch her staring at me from across the room and she replies, “ugh…stupid,” as she leaves the room, I’m sure it’s because she is embarrassed at being caught in the act of such blatant adoration.

It’s all very sweet and I have you gentlemen to thank for it.

I owe you.

-Blair Clark