In Your Face!

Hear ye, hear ye...

From here on out, there are no free rides. If a contestant doesn't show up for Check-In, this picture will be attached to their name:


It's a wacky font and perhaps it's tough to read, but I'll make it easy for you: it says "Freshface"

By my reckoning, the following people have not been photographed. No hardcore shame awaits them this week, but next week is an entirely different story:

Lee Hahn
Will Groebe
Jesse Jensen (saved by his shaving video)
Tom Schelesny
Joe Engelke
Sanjay Das

And then there's Matt Jacobs. Hmm. Still pondering that one...

You've Got A Friend In Lake Mary

So, I was checking our visitors map again and found that we've gotten some recurring hits from Lake Mary, Florida. A relative, perhaps? Close friend of a Mantastic Candidate? Who knows, but regardless, we're happy to see you!

And when in Lake Mary, be sure to stop by the Events Center. Something's always going on! Heck, you should even think about moving there, since Lake Mary has been ranked #1 in Florida and #4 in the United States as Best Place To Live!

It's true!

Worthy Substitute

Jesse Jensen, he of the Chester A. Arthur category, was out sick as a dog on Check-In day, but filmed himself shaving his style with a straight razor!

Holy cats!

Yeah, I think that's good enough for a mulligan.

The Right Stuff

There are two ways to do Mantastic: the right way and the wrong way. Candidate Kip Larsen embodies the Right Way. Capital "R", capital "W".

As I mentioned previously, I completely botched things by somehow losing Kip's Check-In photo. No, I don't know how. It was a perfect sequence of idiotic events. What I do know is that I was crushed since he's most definitely a front-runner in his category. He's the New England Patriots right now - the team to beat. In a magnificent display of coming through in the clutch, he'd gotten wind of my gaffe and bailed me out! Not only does he have a fantastic start on his thatch, but he had someone take a photo while he was offsite at a high-toned location shoot. With outsiders! That's a No-Man-Left-Behind attitude akin to shutting down the nuclear plant that's about to blow, saving the town (if not the World), rescuing the cat from the toxic cloud, getting the girl, retrieving his trademark hat, and then deflecting the credit to the bumbling sidekick.

Astounding.

Here is Kip's new Week #2 Check-In, Chester A. Arthur Category:

Turn Your Head And Cough

Welcome to Friday!

This week was a total clusterfuck, what with people not showing up for Check-In, showing up for Check-In but refusing to shave, and showing up for Check-In with girlfriend-approved versions of their selected styles.

Excuse me a moment while I @#$% puke!!

There is one perfect way to get this thing back on track. Two ways, now that I think about it for a gigasecond.

1. Go home, spend two solid, uninterrupted weekend days farming your hair, then come in Wednesday shaved like a winner. Pow. No explanations, no whining, no cock-and-bull stories.

Or...

2. We trim the excess. Get rid of the deadbeats. Separate the wheat from the chaff. Losers go home.

Don't be the chaff. Be the wheat!!

It's Video Embedding Thursday!

Pop quiz!

Refusing to put down your snacks during activities that require your undivided attention: Mantastic or No?

Has Chuck Norris Met His Match?

Chuck Norris seems to be fighting two worthy opponents here! Don Wong, ready to take down San Francisco's toughest and whitest crime boss, and Chuck's own unbelievable chest hair.

Who will win???

The Curious Case Of Matt Jacobs

We've got a conundrum at HQ. Our compatriot, Matt Jacobs, who drew the Cheadle as his style, showed up for the Check-In yesterday and even took a photo. Great, right? Well, the catch is that there was no Cheadle on his face. He looked like a contestant in the Freestyle category. Now, he wasn't confused as to which category he was in. He knew. Matt explained his situation by boldly proclaiming that he wasn't going to shave his style until the last day. Furthermore, if anyone had any problems with that, he didn't care and promptly flipped us all the bird.

Now....

First let me say that his defiance is most definitely Mantastic. Period. On the other hand, though, why get into a contest where you know the rules, but openly declare that you won't follow them? Sure, it makes you stand out from the crowd, but does it allow you to still call yourself a contestant, which is the whole point to begin with? And wouldn't the refusal to shave and wear your style for four weeks also constitute some sort of cowardice or soft underbelly?

What is your opinion? Second chance? Boot him now? Let's hear you.

Yo Soy Retardo

In a bit of shocking news, I've misplaced the photo of someone who did show up yesterday. Oh, but not just anyone, mind you. It was the photo of near-shoo-in and cataclysmically Mantastic Chester A. Arthur Candidate Kip Larsen. Seems I have to take another photo and I really feel badly about that.

Ooofah.

This is worse than that one time I realized I'd dropped my wallet into the toilet after I'd already done my business. That was an unclogging I won't soon forget.

Screw It!

We've got some photos left to be taken, but those people might get voted off the island before you know it.

Here is your Week #2 Check-In!

William H. Taft:




The Colonel:




Chester A. Arthur:



Van Fucking Buren:



Freestyle Presidential Manscaping:



Cheadle For President: